Zelretch helps(messes) with Shirou Emiya
by Shirou 5th Grail
Summary: Zelretch is s bored. So what does he do? Turn the hero of justice into the best MCs he can think of.
1. Chapter 1

Zelretch was bored. Seeing as Shirou Emyia is usually one of the more fun targets of amusement, it's only fitting that he should mess with him. But what would be more interesting than pulling mere pranks on him.

"I know! I'll merge all those bad end Shirous into one and send them somewhere he'll be sure to put it to use." Zelretch smiles mischievously.

Now where and when to send him? Back time seems interesting. Maybe put him into a self that is about to start the 5th Holy Grail war. Or perhaps during the 4th war. Make him reborn as that Sieg homunculus or Shiki Tohno. Make him the master of Chaldea. Put him in Prisma. Turn him into a high school student of Servant High. Or should I put him into a more remote dimension. The possibilities are endless! Screw it, I'll just do all the above.

Which dimension would benefit more(most fun to see) with Shirou as the MC. AOT seems like it would be hilarious him punch, slash, and toss titans around. MHA would also be a good choice. UBW plus quirks equals one punch man. That one is also a good one. The shield hero, more like unlimited hero. He would be the perfect red dragon emperor. Making him Bell Crannel would also be fun.

Maybe a mecha world. The perfect coordinator, more like the ultimate. The prince of Britannia would also be. He would do well with a IS or hundred. The weakest undefeated, is actually the strongest undefeated. Destroying an Object barehanded seem good too.

The pirate king seems far too amusing. Making him an Uzamaki or Kurosaki seems far too good to pass. The white knight of Remnant has a nice ring to it. King of the galaxy sounds good to me. Make him the tragic loner of SNAFU or put him in a class of the elite. The fire dragon slayer with unlimited weapons. The greatest combat butler to ever live. Putting him in Dessert Punk would too fun not to see. Night Raid can just sip tea while Shirou wreaks havoc on corruption. Stuck in SAO for years, never fear for Shirou is here!

There are way too many good isekai to choose from. Wielder of the ominitrix maybe. He would make a great super boy as well.

"Shirou Emiya find dear friend, you are just way too much fun to mess with. This is why you're my favorite person to watch. I'll even buff you with some perks".


	2. Chapter 2

For anyone wondering, this is to help give a background for what what type of Shirou Emiya is in the stories unless stated otherwise. It's disappointing when people only make 1 or 2 chapters and stop.

The plan on making full length stories for all hinted crossovers. This was just getting used to the site. The plan to start with some of the shorter shows as it has been some time since viewing half of them. Feel free to say what you think and what show would also be a good idea. Doesn't matter the genre as long as it's has a good way to fit with Shriou as a character. Show ending feel incomplete, Shirou will fix that right away. Wish a main character was more OP or had more of a back bone, then let Shirou fill that role.

Want Shriou with UBW in a show that has no powers, that's OK he will just take the show over. Other verse seem too strong for the hero of justice, he will pull of something like you've never seen before. He'll be a strong as he needs to be. Especially since Shriou technically he could be in canon as well. However, the Nasuverse just won't let him be that strong ever. Being too humble, survivors guilt, no training until it's too late, and not being used to his fullest potential or just falling short tends to lead to being nerfed 24/7. Not kidding either, one would be really surprised. He can be superhuman to being too OP please nerf. Using the right amount of lore, consistencies, limitations, hax, the power of research, MC, and plot will determine just how strong he can get.

Though again feel free to give honest opinion and lore of verses. He really does work too well for other verses. Thanks for viewing.


	3. Chapter 3

**You only have to Read Italics and Bold if you want.**

**This Chapter is how Zelretch would react to complaints and explains a researched Shirou as a person.**

**Enjoy this Update of Zelretch helps (Messes) with Shirou.**

**Zelretch's Realm**

Why did I do wrong? I know the beginning of these things are always not as good until the main story really starts. But some people I showed these dimensions to got confused or thought Shirou was OOC/OC. I need a Psychiatrist? I'm Zelretch, I could just bride with anything. Not my fault that was how Kazuma was, he needed one. What do people expect from these isekai type shows?! Of course I have to make him reborn as that MC, and killing him again. It's one of the only things I'm known for! Not my fault some can't read between the lines! Maybe I should mess up Shinji Matou again. He got so wrecked in Berserk! I'll do it later though.

Though I'm glad that many still can get and enjoy my creations. Also that SKES bit was extra cringey. That's what I wanted it to be for Shirou. Him wanting to bang his head against a wall until he snaps and goes Kazuma on someone.

Though in the mecha genre I see a problem. NO SHIROU TURNING MECHS INTO SUPER MECHS AND SOLOING ALL IN HIS WAY IS NOT FUN AT ALL! I know it works, Shirou's personality fits so well for mech pilots. It works but Shirou needs to be fighting something, or being Archer like. Also being a protective, almost yandere, like person is also funny. Not even out of character either Heavens Feel and Oath Under Snow, all that is needed to say about that. He sure didn't want Cu Lancer flirting with Rin in UBW. It's just not as explored. That's why I'm still messing with that Gundam Seed Shirou. The in between and start need a lot of work to be good. Though it always ends the same for that one, which I'm glad he keeps finding a way to get to my vision.

That's also why I only told the first draft to Shirou/Kazuma. He would always be watching out for me and I couldn't mess with him any more. Well I still could but it's more work then.

Perhaps it was the version I picked. Maybe I should pick just one. Fate is too loyal to Saber, wrong show and he gets hated by important cast members for being a heart breaker all the time. UBW True is bound to drift away from all he could get close with and too into his ideals for personal relationships. UBW Good still watched Illya get butchered in front of him. He also has 2 or 3 tag alongs(Saber, Rin, Luvia) that won't give up until they get him back, messing up my vision! And they would know it was me right away too! Heavens Feel is too loyal to Sakura, and or Illya as only I got to see that branch off route. Yes there are Shirous with feelings for Illya, it's not just OC bullshit. Yes they're into that fetish as well. Tsunderes, Tragic heroines, Juniors(Konais), Seniors(Sempais or Senseis), and sister types are his kryptonites. He can't resist one unless another of the listed catches his attention more. This is canon lore and obvious no read between lines. He himself won't ever even admit to it though about liking anyone unless he thinks it's the last chance to be honest.

The one from my Illya Prisma Magical girl verse has no training in magic, too normal, and I would have to find one where all in that world got taken in front of him. He would have PTSD flash backs and become unstable. An unstable Shirou with boosted powers is awesome to me, but he might just kill everyone and scare certain verses. Oath Under Snow might be the only real choice, but he again might decide to kill all enemies without thinking.

Also all of them would have to be fresh from Grail War, otherwise no pairings at all with him. So like each one starting from 8, so 6 to 9.5 years of known life each. Of course new lives would alter them no matter what. They're all children with minds of veterans in the body of teens normally.

The lives of tragic harem MCs are never easy. They still can't figure out why the girls around them like them to begin with. Or why bad shit always happens to them.

I guess my SNAFU Shirou will have to wait until I can get more easy to write versions are set up. Dammit it would have so good, for me to watch as Hachiman's accident reawakens his Shirou life, and let him have really good magic circuits. Both are just too self sacrificing. Then drop in some overpowered threat he almost can't shit against. If he live long enough I might send more people he might know. Hm would he be more like normal Emiya Archer or Nameless Shirou from the Mooncell?

Wait, NAMELESS REACHED THE ROOT OF ALL THINGS! HOW DID I FORGET THAT HE BECAME ALL VERSIONS OF SHIROU LITERALLY IN ONE WHEN HE DID THAT! Oh yah that's right, he's too OP and knows too much.

Screw it, I'll just put nerfed copies in the shows from now on. There now there's just one Shirou again. Angra Mainyu was Shirou for a little while in Hollow/Ataraxia. Is he still a Shirou? I'll just give him Shirou's powers and put him some where. He still knows how to be Shirou. Just that he's more perverted. His and Shirou's backstories combined would go like this...

_A no body picked at random, suffered everything bad that could happen to someone, and used as a martyr without consent. Reborn and tried to be a hero so none would go through what he did. Only to have caused all his loved ones greatest pain. Ultimately dying all alone and accomplishing nothing. Then reborn again, armed with what went wrong the first time. He pushes forward trying to be the light for world, while ironically being the greatest amount of evil the world has ever known. All while slowly destroying himself, so that those he cares for live a long happy life. Even if he won't be apart of it, that life is not meant for a time-bomb that could destroy all he holds dear without meaning to._

Now that is what I was going for! Just need to slap OC, Nameless Shirou, and Angra Mainyu on it. Now none can complain in the future!

"Now Shinji Matou meet the doctor that will snip snip your man hood. If one can even call you still. Have lots of fun sucker!" Zelretch moves out of way to reveal Gilles de rais caster.

"You said you would do what to Jeanne D'Arc given the chance!" Pulls out big stack of tools and other shit.

A tied Shinji Matou was then left in the hands of a very enraged Bluebeard.

**Hope everyone understood and enjoyed. I'll continue the current Shirou is Kazuma, but I'll use the new version for everything else. Unless people want recon of the Prologue, I'll leave it as is.**

**An OC that is a mix of Root of All Things Nameless Shirou from Mooncell, and Angra Mainyu. It was my original idea that I wanted to use but didn't use. Thought I could write a Shirou trying to fix himself and others.**

**This new version will hide his true power and nature with seals he put on himself. Just think a more perverted Shirou, that will put on masks to hide his nature. Use italic section for reference as well.**

**Still have slots for 3 other stories. Pick from hinted shows from chapter one. They're less difficult to find shit on, and can be out in a day or week.**


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